I haven't actually posted an Elijah fanfic yet...I did start one in December called ' Fragmented' which I will hopefully be posting pretty soon...*fingers crossed*
In the meantime though, I have written about 3 short stories. Woo. Go me! Which I shall post here for your...amusement. I'd rate them all about PG-13...'this one's for you' contains self harm and depression. 'Sea Dreams' is quite freaky actually so I would NOT read it if you get freaked out easily.
Okay? On we go!
This one’s for you
'Go away...don't look at me...' your tear stained face glares at the poster of him on your wall, his stunningly bright blue eyes interlocked with yours. A sudden anger runs through your veins, and you bury your head in your pillow, closing your eyes tightly shut to get away from him.
Even though your eyes are tightly shut you can still see his face, his eyes with a hint of laughter in them, mocking you. The images of him change, Frodo with a lone tear running down his cheek, Frodo hugging the rest of the hobbits, Elijah with Dom, one of all the cast hugging each other...
"GO AWAY!" you scream suddenly, the anger coursing through your body strongly. Stop mocking me. Please. Just leave me alone.
The tears start pouring from your eyes again. It isn't fair. Stop rubbing it in, get out my head. I can't stand to see your beautifulness anymore. I can't stand seeing you being so close to someone, when I have no one.
You close your eyes again, trying to stop the flow of the tears and another picture of him laughing materialises in your head. You muffle a scream of frustration in your pillow. You can't do it, you can't do what you so badly want to, what you need to...your hands reach out for anything to keep them occupied. They reach one of your old stuff toys and you hug him tightly, remembering your childhood, how you always felt protected and loved, and you were so innocent, nothing like you are now.
Although you have a few close friends, you don't consider yourself close enough to tell them how you're feeling, how much you're sick of breathing. It's why you're so obsessed, why posters of Elijah are plastered over your walls. Because you need someone.
"I made a promise Mr. Frodo, a promise! Don't you leave him Samwise Gamgee, and I don't mean to. I don't mean to.'
You can't resist the temptation anymore, no one's going to stop you.
Your fingers reach out for a sharp blade and you sink it deep into your arm and you watch the blood come trickling out the wound. [i]Your blood.[/i] It's always funny how you feel so relieved, so relaxed yet so confused as you watch it in satisfaction.
Tears still seep from your eyes, and you reach out for a pure white hankie, and carefully place it out the cuts, watching the white gather up the deep ruby red blood.
You lay your head on the pillow, your fingers pressing the 'play' button on the CD player and you relax slightly as the familiar lyrics of 'Crawling' by Linkin' Park flood your senses.
]'Crawling in my skin
These wounds, they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real'
The tears slowly trickle from your eyes, staining your cheeks and drying on your lips and you close your eyes and fall asleep.
Where the hell are you?
Your eyes open and you're not in a familiar setting. You're sitting on a beach, the grainy sand mixed with strands of seaweed and shells touching your hands. The sea is clearly visible a few metres in front of you, the waves rolling gently in, making the comforting sound you've always loved. The seagulls are crying aloud above you. As you look towards the horizon, you can see the sun's just risen, the clouds still stained with various shades of pink, orange and yellow.
Slowly you turn your eyes away from the breath taking sight and you glance beside you and your heart almost stops.
He's there. Right beside you.
You blink rapidly, to make sure he's real, and he's still sitting when your eyes open again. You're about to raise your hands to your eyes to rub them, but as though he's reading your mind, he turns his gaze to you and rests his warm hand upon yours. You're speechless as his ocean blue eyes capture yours.
"You're freezing," he tells you, his hand caressing yours, warmth spreading through your body. "Take this," he takes off his coat and gently spreads it over your shoulders. The warmth engulfs your body, the smell of him flooding your senses.
This can hardly be real.
"I've got something to tell you," he explains softly, putting his arm around you and pulling you closer to him.
Is this what it feels like to be loved?
"I don't want you to protest because I know what you're going through. Promise?"
You nod silently, snuggling into his chest. You're there with him. That's all that matters. He's there with you.
"Life's a gift, you shouldn't abuse it," he continues wisely. "No matter what you think, life is worth living. There are many people in the world who'd love to be in your position. You have a house, a loving family, an education and you're intelligent."
Despite your promise, you mouth opens to protest. Me - intelligent? No way. You've got it all wrong, Elijah.
"Yes, you are," his fingers reach out and close your lips. "Don't say anything. You have friends who care for you, and they'd help you through anything if you asked them to. And you're beautiful."
You struggle to keep your mouth shut. Beautiful? You're so wrong, I'm the ugliest person in the world. There's nothing attractive about me.
"You're beautiful," he repeats, as though he's read your mind. "No matter what you think. There's only one of you ever going to walk this planet, you're completely unique. There's no one like you and there will never be another."
He pauses slightly and pushes a stray strand of your hair behind your ear. You shiver slightly. No one's ever done that to you before. And even though it was such a small gesture, you feel loved.
"And even though it's hard, you shouldn't hate yourself. You cut because you think you deserve it for being you, for being so ugly and angry. You seem to have forgotten that you deserve happiness for the pleasure you bring into people's lives.
Your family are proud of the grades you achieve at school, your friends love you for making their day. Your sister loves you for always being there for her to help her with her homework and she looks up to you as a role model. Your friends are grateful towards you as you always listen. Your teachers admire you as you struggle gracefully through the work they give you without complaint. And there's someone who loves you, but you've taught yourself not to see that through your self hate.
Can you see? You don't need to hurt yourself or ruin your chances because you think yourself unworthy. You need to see the pleasure in every problem and help yourself to higher places. You should reward yourself for each achievement you make, not linger on all the mistakes you've made.
You should love yourself for who you are and not hate yourself for who you're not."
He stops and then looks at you with his searching beautiful eyes.
"Never compare yourself to other people because you're all different. You can't be them and they can't be you. Feel proud of what makes you you and not hate the small things that make you so unique because other people consider you weird.
You may feel at sometimes you can't find the happy, innocent person you were and you miss that person. You haven't lost her, you've just her give in to the controlling voices who tells you you're imperfect, ugly and unloved.
Look at the positive side of every problem and solution, don't forever think of the negative. Look at anything in this world and see the positive and you'll find your 'old self' come back.
Quit listening to the inner voice telling you you're ugly and take pleasure in the small things in this world like birds singing. Bring back the hobbies you loved, but stopped loving them as society thought they were 'uncool'.
If you can do that, learn to love yourself again, you'll find the person you thought you lost.
Don't take for granted the things you do. One day you could wake up and never hear the birds sing or it could never rain again. Or possibly a friend you took for granted might be gone. Always appreciate everything, and always tell them how much they mean to you before it's too late. Make them feel appreciated when they're alive and not leaving it until they've gone.
Never believe that no one loves you because it isn't true. Your family and friends do so every day, but you push that aside because you take them for granted. You keep your problems to yourself because you feel you can't trust them. You know if you tell someone how you feel, they'd help but you keep it bottled up. Tell them and they'll help you overcome how you feel about yourself. If they don't know, they can't help you as much as they'd like.
They love you and they always believe you'd come to them if you wanted help, but you're throwing that back in their faces. You don't feel like turning to your family as they're older than you, you think they won't understand and sometimes they infuriate your senses.
They will understand, you just tell yourself they won't. They will help you through this if you'd let them.
Always follow your heart and your head. They'll lead you to the right places and help you to cope in situations.
Never be afraid to try something new and live life to the full each day. Why not do that ambition of yours to fly now instead of putting it off? Don't under estimate yourself, and never listen to the voice in your head that tells you that you can't do that. If you believe in yourself, life will become much more fulfilling and happy."
He paused again for a moment and you shudder slightly as a cool sea breeze suddenly becomes apparent to you.
"And even though you think you're just a fan, and you think that they think of you as one of many, don't believe that. Whoever you're a fan of sees the individuality in everyone and never merges you together. They value their fans as the fans support them and raise their confidence, sometimes making them feel worthy on days their self-confidence is low.
Even though we might not know you exist, we know that you may be thinking of us, just listen to your heart and you could hear something.
Look to your heart and I'll help guide you. I'm always there."
His eyes lock into yours and yet again you're memorised by the wisdom in the depths of his eyes.
"Never forget," he tells you softly, "I'm there for you. And I love you," his lips brush against your forehead gently and your breath catches in your throat.
"Love yourself for who you are and don't hate yourself for who you're not," he repeats softly.
You wake to the sound of Linkin Park 'With you' and you sleepily open your eyes. The first thing you glance at is the Elijah poster in front of you and it almost seems as though an encouraging smile appears on his face.
'Even if you're not with me
I'm with you'
Dedicated to Aurora, Laila, Tashi, Calen, Holly, Jennie, Livi and 'the group'.
Since I met you.
I've got a lot to say in this letter, things I've been meaning to say for ages but they just never escaped my lips. I guess sometimes your feelings can be kind of embarrassing and so sentimental, you just won't allow yourself to even think of saying them to whoever, and it's that.
I know exactly how you'd react if I told you these things, you wouldn't react in a 'bad' way and start to think I had 'feelings' for you, because you understand me. Ready to start then?
I knew there was something about you since you walked into the trailer at half four in the morning. Damn, that sounds so cheesy, but it's true! I can't remember our first conversation but I suspect it was something with mainly me complaining about getting up so goddamn early in the morning! [you were never one to complain about such a great opportunity, but I was your make up artist...you were acting. There's a biiiig difference. But hey, it was worth it. I loved doing that, and although it sounds like it, I'm not complaining! You know what I'm like.] But whatever it was, I swear I've never met someone who was so friendly and understanding. You accepted me straight away for who I was.
It wasn't just your deep, soft eyes that made me know you were more than trustworthy, your whole self radiated warm heartedness. With you, I found someone I felt I could completely 200% trust. You accepted me just as I am and I never felt I had to pretend to be someone I wasn't around you, unlike I've had to do with other people - walk on delicate eggshells that would break the instant I put a foot out of line.
Since that first day, you've cradled my heart in your hands. You've cradled in with immense care, careful never to let it drop.
You told me the same thing - that you haven't trusted someone just as much as me. I guess it's because of that and we have so much we became inseparable. Best friends. Definitely caused some problems on set seeing as while you were waiting for the cameras, a combination of Billy, Dom and me would just crack you up completely. [Yep, they sure are a bad influence on me!]
Remember how you finished that sentence for me, when I was fiddling about with your prosthetic ear? [It refused to go on]. You were laughing over how freaked I was. It wasn't just you'd managed to get what I was thinking, but I'd never felt [b]this[/b] close to anyone before, to someone who actually knew me. The real me.
At points in my life when the bright sun would disappear behind a fog of thick, dark, impenetrable clouds, you were the light that shined away, guiding me although I could barely see my feet.
You know all about my past. You know just what I tried to do to myself. You know how much I've had to pretend around other people because they'd scorn me if they knew my real personality. So when you were guiding me through the fog, I don't know how to thank you. Because you have no idea just how much it helped.
You didn't even treat me any differently when you found out. You were never really one to wait around.
You'd noticed I usually wore long sleeved things, even in the hottest weather and that I'd complain a hellofalot over the heat. I don't know how you would have discovered it if I hadn't worn that pretty loose top. It would always casually roll itself up my arms when I was adjusting your wig -almost as if it wanted you to know, and my scars aren't particularly invisible either. You didn't even wait to consider asking, you just pointed them out tactfully and asked how I'd got them.
Usually people would react by either looking shocked, surprised, concerned, maybe even disappointed. Some people would even go all frosty and start treating me like I was abnormal. I don’t see how trying to kill yourself is considered ‘abnormal’. Face it, it’s the bitter fact of life, you’re going to die one day and back then I was depressed and I didn’t see why I should die then instead of later.
Your reaction was so different. You just got up and hugged me so tight I could barely breathe. When you sat back down again, your eyes were just a whirlwind of emotions, flickering in your eyes.
Wasn’t it Ian Mckellen who said anyone could look into your eyes and see straight down to your heart? Because it’s so true. Looking in your eyes back then was really amazing to me because although we’d only know each other for a few months, your eyes showed such care. They told me that you were going to protect me from now on, make sure I looked after myself. I know you hear this from many people, but yours eyes are ones of an angel.
Over the fifteen-month shoot, you eventually discovered why I’d tried to kill myself, and how depressed and lost I’d been.
You’ve always made it your personal job to protect me, and I’ve done the same for you.
You’ve done many things that have touched me, but one always sticks in my mind. It was when we were at your house, and I’d felt really depressed and I was crying and I couldn’t stop the tears cascading down my face. You just took me into your arms and held me, just like you did in your heart. I can never remember what you said, but you were whispering words softly into my ear.
I can guess what it looked like when your girlfriend walked in. She took one look at us, and walked back out with fury written all over her face. It was obvious what she’d assumed was happening, but it made me cry more than ever. I mean, as if I wasn’t already burdening you with my saddening feelings, I’d just made you lose your girlfriend! You didn’t seem much bothered at the time though, you just looked at me and told me any girlfriend that wouldn’t accept how close you and me were, was no girlfriend of his. You got a little bit confused then because it just made me cry even more. Only this time I was crying over that, it was such a sweet thing to say.
I felt even guiltier the next day when I woke up sleeping on your sofa. It took me quite a while to recall what had happened the next day and I felt such a strong sense of regret knock me to the ground, that I disappeared before Hannah and your mother’s eyes and hit the shops.
I know you were pretty damn surprised when I came back, laden with loads of things for you. You know how much I hate shopping and you had a whole bag of presents to sift through that I’d spent a few hours looking for.
I did that before, after we’d finished the fifteen-month shoot of LOTR. You just lay about at home all day because you didn’t feel the effort to do anything else. ‘The Lord of the Rings’ had taken up your life for fifteen months and you’d really loved every single moment of it, and then it was over, gone. Sure, you still had most the cast as your friends, but you weren’t shooting it or anything. You just didn’t feel the motivation to do anything else.
I felt really, really concerned for you then. I’ve felt like that before during that period of my life. I was just so depressed and thinking of myself and all my faults. I couldn’t see anything in life worth living, but I continued dreary day after day although I never felt like doing anything. And it was in one of those moods that I’d decided I was sick of living when I didn’t want to and just grabbed a knife and put it to my wrists. I wanted you to knew how you felt, that I cared and I wanted you to be back to the normal Elijah you were.
I made you a whole load of mixtapes, putting on both your and my favourite songs, songs with lyrics I felt you would be able to relate to, a whole lot of chocolate and movies. We had a great time that day. We started with watching the movies, both laughing and crying over them, while eating the chocolate, and then we listened to all the tapes. While we were doing that, we had this massive discussion over both the music and the lyrics and over suicide and those moods.
You made me see life in a whole different point of view. No matter what anyone thinks, there is always someone out there thinking of you, someone who loves you. Always. It’s true for everyone. Life’s always worth living, although some people don’t believe it because their vision gets distorted.
I loved that day. We had such a great time...we spent hours talking about various memories of the filming. Remember, we decided the theme song for it would definitely be Green Day – ‘Time of your life [good riddance]’ – the lyrics fitted so perfectly. We both cried a bit that day as well…all good things come an end, even if we don’t want them to. And although it was over, at least it happened. We had an unbelievably great time, made awesome friends, learned a lot and we still have memories, no matter what. Be glad it happened; don’t feel sad it ended. You taught me so much that day.
I get the idea by the length of this letter, I’ve rambled on far too much, I’m writing too much over the things I didn’t mean to say.
What I want to say to you, is simply; thank you. You’ve guided me, helped me, accepted me and you care for me. You’ve taught me more than anyone else has and you’re always going to be my best friend. We’re inseparable, and you mean so much to me. I hope we never drift apart, ever. Seriously, you’ll never know just how much you mean to me, and how much I need you. I’m so glad I’ve got you, and I love you so much.
So thanks for all the memories, advice and everything you’ve ever done for me.
Within the darkness, you were the light
that shines away,
Someone has changed me, something saved me
Now this is who I am
Recognise those lyrics? If you don’t Elijah, I swear I’ll kill you because I’m obsessed with this song! You’ve done so much for me, just remember you can always come to me with anything. It’s the least I can do as you’ve made reach high enough to catch a glimpse of heaven. You’ve helped me hold the tiny, glittering stars in my own hands.
Thanks for always being there for me, even the times I’ve been a right damn pain in the backside. Thanks for being you. You’ll never know justhow much I love you.
I’m there for you
No matter what
I’m there for you
Never giving up
I’m there for you
Love you Monkey, xx
Ever since I’ve been able to remember, I’ve always had the same dream. Not every night, just a few days a month. I’d never been scared of the dream, when I awoke I would be awed. Other rarer times, I’d wake up crying because I could see their blurred faces as they turned at looked, their eyes crying out with terror, their mouths open with no scream escaping. And then they were gone as it swept over them.
It’s become plastered on my memory, I can remember every single second of the dream.
I believe my dreams mean something. You may laugh and scorn at me at this, but I know they do. I found out the cruel, bitter hard way. That way had me crying endless oceans of tears and regret. If only I’ known what it meant before it happened – I could have warned them, they’d never have left. They’d still be here with me. Their daughter.
The dream would always start irrelevantly. At least, that’s what I always thought but it turned out it wasn’t. It would start with a field of massive, tall grass waving in the wind looking as if it were truly dancing. I’d always loved it when it did that, it looked so stunningly beautiful. Funnily enough, on the day I stopped having this dream, I’d spent half the day in that exact field as I was staying at my father’s friend’s house in the country.
This sea of moving grass would then turn into an ocean, with the waves rolling endlessly from the horizon. For all I knew by looking at that, the ocean could have lasted for infinity.
I’ve never had a fear of the sea before; I’ve always loved it. Sometimes my parents would take me down to the beach on the rare occasions that they weren’t away filming movies. I’d always loved it then – everything was idyllic. We were the perfect family in some ways – there was just the three of us and we were all so close. Hell, even sometimes my dad would come to me asking for my suggestions on how to surprise my mother, or advice if they’d just argued or something.
It’d stay like that for a few moments – just nothing but the moving ocean but then slowly I’d notice this small black dot entering the vision to the right hand side. Almost instantly, I found myself asking what it was, although I knew. I’d then find myself swooping and gliding softly, getting closer and closer to it. It was this large ship, painted white, dabbled with some soft lines of ocean blue, with its name written on it.
I never was able to make out what the name was, it was far too blurred, until the last time I saw it. I only managed to see most things clearly in that last dream. I’m never going to have it again though. Don’t ask me how, I just know. I’m never going to have this dream again, forever.
There were little circular windows all over the body of the ship, some had curtains hanging over them, others were free of the curtains and I could see the small cabins inside. On the highest deck of the ship, there were people wandering about, some sitting in those white plastic chairs you usually find on ships. Others were ordering food from the snackbar and some people got too cold and were forcing open the heavy doors that would take them back inside.
My vision usually got placed on a particular couple. I swear, they were perfect for each other. The rest of my dream would consist mainly of following them about. I would see a straight, long corridor with loads of doors off to each side. I’d saunter along this until I reached room 3007 and I’d suddenly halt as the handle turned and the door swung open, revealing the couple staying in it. They’d be laughing over some joke he’d just made and they’d step into the corridor, holding hands with her head resting gently on his shoulder.
The dream would then skip about a lot, changing scenes. I’d usually see them attempting to explore the whole ship, and getting lost in some deserted area of the ship. They definitely managed to find out where they were though as it would then skip to them in one of the ship’s many restaurants.
That’s how I know just how they were practically made for each other. I’d stay with them there for quite a while, and I’d listen to their conversation that always made me sigh happily as they knew each other so well. Obviously it was a blissful marriage made in heaven.
I’m sure I won’t be able to describe the next scene to what it really deserves – it’s so beautiful. But I’ll try, and hope you manage to picture it clearly in your mind. I guess it would definitely help if you’ve been on a ship for sunset.
They’d be standing at the end of the ship, leaning on the rails preventing them from going overboard. Their hands were entwined and she was talking softly to him, her gaze lingering on the soft white trail of foam that the ship had left. His eyes were completely on her and his face held such a loving tender for her. She’d then raise her spare hand, pointing at the sun in the sky. It was just a half circle, half lingering above the horizon, the other half had melted behind the ocean. It was a bright golden copper colour, sending rays of colour to the few floating clouds. It made them a beautiful soft shade of pink, purple or a mild flame of orange. He’d then say something and with his spare hand, he’d dig into his pocket in his jeans and draw out this small pink box with a rose painted carefully on top of it. She’d look at him curiously, her long dark hair flowing out behind her, before reaching her hand out to take it off him. She’d open it tentatively to reveal a silver necklace with a small butterfly pendant, one wing containing her birthstone and another with his. Her face would then take on an expression of delight, and he’d taken it out and draped it around her neck, fastening the clasp. She’d then joined both his hands with hers and she’d say three words.
Although I could never make out exactly what they were, I knew they were ‘I love you.’
He would never reply, he’d just cup her face in his hands and kiss her, their silhouettes in front of the setting sun.
It’d fade out then, and the next image was magnificent. It was back to seeing only the ocean, only a storm had gathered and was releasing its rage. The waves were moving about angrily, the white foam getting whipped up high into the air. The wind was howling viciously, rain was pouring down in strong torrents and the sky would lighten up with a sudden flash of lightening accompanied with a furious shout of thunder. Not exactly something you’d want to see, but the immense fury made it beautiful.
It’d change then. I could never decipher from the dream what exactly happened, but the ship suddenly became full of screaming. Screaming people. There was something wrong with the ship; it seemed to be sinking. A lot of people had come out onto deck, some were trying to get the lifeboats down and load them with children. Most people were panicking, hastily shoving lifejackets on them and anyone else nearby.
I’m not sure if they ever knew this, but just observing this I knew the whole thing was hopeless. They’d discovered the problem far, far too late.
The crew members and calmer people continued getting people on lifeboats and sending them off, ignoring both the hysterical, crying people on the lifeboat reaching out to their relations who weren’t in with them. I hated that part…the way each of their hands were stretching out to each other, although they knew they could never reach each other with the gap between them becoming wider and wider. And not only just literally, it could be the boundary between life or death. Some of those people in the lifeboats never saw the people still stranded on the ship again.
It’d skip again at this point, to much the same scene only with the storm even wilder and the ship even lower. It wouldn’t be that long now until the whole ship disappeared beneath that furious ocean surface.
It was torture to see this part. Even more people were screaming with fear, panicking. They’d suddenly realised it was far too late to be rescued, it was inevitable – they were probably going to die, despite the lifejackets.
The couple were up there. They were both wearing lifejackets, and I could see the butterfly necklace draped around her neck. She wasn’t panicking, but she was crying and he was holding her in his arms, whispering into her ear and smoothing her hair back. She always seemed to be wailing something about losing her daughter, hugging her husband fiercely.
Suddenly what had been the highest deck was dangerously close to the roaring ocean. Most people were hugging someone, or crying, closing their eyes as if they were wishing they weren’t there. There was always a crowd of people though who weren’t so relaxed and were still panicking. Their faces were ones of absolute fear, their eyes full of dread and horror and their mouths wide open, screaming for the help that had been too late coming. Others had their mouths open, but they were so frightened no scream could escape past their lips – they’d become numb with the panic.
The couple were still hugging each other, her head was resting on his chest and they were both whispering to each other. It always filled my eyes were tears, they loved each other so much.
And then they’d gone. I’d see the last part of the ship go under – the funnel part and it would disappear under the raging water. It hurt even more after this as I could see many, many orange lifejackets being tossed about roughly, as though they were footballs. Some people, including the couple, were staying together as they were gripping each other’s hands so tightly. They wanted their last moments to be with each other.
It’d fade out with that horrible image, but would reappear at the exact same place with helicopters flying desperately over the now calm ocean surface, looking hopelessly for survivors.
The last time I had this dream, I woke up screaming. I was covered in sweat and my nightclothes were sticking to me. My eyes were wide open in shock. For the first time ever, I’d been able to see everything clearly. The ship was called ‘Blue Maiden’…
I’d been able to see the couple’s faces crystal clear, they hadn’t been a blur like they had been the past times. I’d woke up screaming and sweating because I’d recognised them.
I’d known all along who they were somehow although I’d never been able to see their faces clearly before. It just hadn’t registered with me to put those faces to names. They were my parents.
No matter how much Billy, Orlando and Dom tried to comfort me, told me endlessly that it was just a dream, I knew he was wrong. I couldn’t calm down, I kept crying hysterically. I refused to go back to bed, and I just sat awake, rocking myself, trying to ignore their eyes upon me. I tried to calm my racing heart, but I couldn’t. How could I when I’d recognised the name of the ship instantly? I’d managed to untie the dream at last. It was a warning. All those years of my life I’ve had it, it was trying to tell me this was going to happen.
I knew Billy, Orlando and Dom thought I was crazy, but I refused to believe them. They refused to believe me either, not until the telephone rang harshly over the sound of my crying. Not until the person at the other end told them. They believed me then.
My parents died on the ‘Blue Maiden’.
If the cuts dont work out right, I'll come back and edit them later.
Any comments or constructive criticism will be gratefully received :)